Saturday, February 5, 2011

30 Days of Truth, Day 4: Something You Have To Forgive Someone For

Welcome to Day 4 of Each Others Keeper Blog Therapy 30 Days of Truth.  The power to forgive is a very difficult task.  This task of sharing with my readers about something that I have to forgive someone for, is even harder.  I didn't realize the levels of intimacy that this 30 Days of Truth can take you! 

My best friend always says that in order to truly forgive you must forget.  Growing up, I was told by my mother and grandmother to not hold a grudge.  In addition, the church had always preached about the power to forgive.  However, when I think of forgivness...its about letting go.

Despite my now positive outlook on life and being on that positivity train, I have been through a lot.  I am growing and learning about myself each and everyday.  I am working on forgiving a lot of people that had impacted my life in a very hurtful way.  Therefore, if I was to forgive someone, it would have to be my father.

I have to forgive my father for some many things.  Perhaps, its raping one of his children (I must protect their privacy), beating my mom, or neglecting his family.  Perhaps, its for not being there for me.  

I remember when I first got my apartment at the age of 17.  He had picked me up and told me that he was taking me grocery shopping. I was so excited cause I was so broke, starving, and new to the whole being on my own thing.  We got to the register and he just stared at me.  Why call me and tell me that you are getting my groceries just to humiliate me?  Age 17 was the last time I saw him.

Perhaps, I should forgive him for throwing a fit in the hospital room and punching a whole in the wall because he found out I wasn't a boy.  Maybe, I should forgive him for not helping my mom provide for their 3 children. Yet, could it be for not assisting in providing for education.  This list could go on and on.

The truth is...I forgave him a long time ago.  I forgave him by not allowing him to be a part of my life and by walking away.  I forgave him by not allowing hatred and anger to fester.  I replaced it with love and compassion.  The love and compassion is for my mom and myself.

They say, "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger".  I believe that holding on to the past and negative circumstances can and will hinder you.  I believe that you can subconsciously allow someone to take control of your life.

“When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.”

Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself