Thursday, February 3, 2011

30 Days of Truth, Day 3: Something You Have To Forgive Yourself For

When I think of something that I have to forgive myself for, its really something that I had forgave myself for a long time ago.  I forgive myself for deciding not to settle.  Not to settle when it comes to friends, jobs, and especially men.

For a long time, I thought that I had to have a certain job, the popular group of friends, and the perfect man to make me complete and happy.  I was under this strange expectation that I had to meet everyones expectations.  I tried it and it was exhausting.  

I had the good paying job.  Yet, it that made me depressed.  I had a good set of friends.  Yet, they only used me for what they can get out of me.  I had a string of unsuccessful relationships: 
  • the I love you BUT I have to kick your ass man
  • the I love you BUT I have to sleep with everyone else man
  • the I love you BUT I don't have time for you man

I forgave myself for wanting a life that wasn't my own.  I forgave myself for trying to meet expectations that was no where near what I wanted to go in life.  

Though I feel like I have wasted a lot of time and energy, I have been spending these past few years focused on myself and my goals.  I went back to school and chose the major that I wanted to choose.  The number of TRUE friends that I now have I can literally count on one hand.  As far as a relationship goes, like the movie Some Kind of Wonderful, "I would rather be alone for the right reasons, then with someone for the wrong ones".  TODAY I AM CHOOSING TO BE RIGHT UNTIL THE RIGHT ONE COMES ALONG!


Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself