Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Gentel Words and Harsh Tongues

Whether it is at work, at school, or in your home, you will come across many diverse people and discover that not everyone is the same. There are some people that are shy, needy, dominant, impassive, and a variety of other types. Being able to know the difference between good communication and bad communication and the various personality types will help you to better interact with others and will definitely improve your overall communication skills.

Good interpersonal communication skills is a combination of being able to say what you mean clearly and concisely, and being able to take on other people's opinions and adapt what you say accordingly, as well as making them feel they can speak freely.
PROVERBS - CHAP 15: 1, 4

( taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation ©. Copyright © 1996, by Tyndale Charitable Trust)

(1) A gentle answer turns away wrath, but harsh words stir up anger.
(4) Gentle words bring life and health; a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit.

Bad interpersonal communication is when you yell (curse) out, communicate non-nonchalantly, or non-directly, not able to take on other people's opinions, not able to communicate respectfully and directly, not being able to listen and feel offended if the other party speaks freely.
EPHESIANS - Chapter 4:26

(26) And "don't sin by letting anger gain control over you." Don't let the sun go down while you are still angry,
(27) for anger gives a mighty foothold to the Devil.

When dealing with people, there are a variety of personality types. Knowing various types of personalities will help you to effectively communicate. Please click this link to see which one is yours http://types4couples.com/typeprofiles.htm
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TIPS FOR EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION:

1. Body Language - Your body language will over power what you are trying to communicate. You can show your anger, nerves, happiness, etc. This statement is true. Rather than letting how you feel effect you, make sure you clearly and respectful get your point across. Holding eye contact, acknowledging that you are listening, and responding if necessary is simple. This does not include folding your arms, looking the other way, or being distracted. It will show that this conversation is not important.

2.
Listen - You can't expect to learn anything from a conversation if you don't listen to it properly or take the message the wrong way. Take the time to respect what the other person is saying, no matter how ridiculous and crazy it sounds! Everyone has a right to there own opinion.
Second Timothy - Chapter 2:23
(taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation ©. Copyright © 1996, by Tyndale Charitable Trust)
(23) Again I say, don't get involved in foolish, ignorant arguments that only start fights.


3. Be aware of who you’re speaking to - Everyone is different and you need to tailor that communication based on that personality type. In order for this to be achieved, you must remember that the language that you choose should be understood and yet not patronizing.

4. SILENCE IS GOLDEN - Have you heard the saying, "I don't remember what was said, but I remember how I felt"? You will come across a variety of type of personality that have the need to get attention or want to get a point across in a harsh matter. Notice that I said the word harsh. Always, try to relieve the tension if someone you are talking to is tense, negative, upset or angry. Don't be negative, insulting, or patronizing. This will only escalate the problem.

NOTE FROM AUTHOR:
I have had my share of communication flaws during my day. Wow, I sound so old! The only thing that I know is, I may not remember what was said, but I do remember how I felt. However, those who I have effectively communicated with, I remember everything. The only thing that you see when someone is a bad communicator is that he/she is mad. You do not hear anything else. DO YOU?


AFTER READING THIS BLOG AND LOOKING AT YOUR PERSONALITY TYPE, PLEASE COMMENT. Tell me what your personality type is and how has this blog helped you. No negativity, just positivity. PLEASE CLICK THIS LINK AND TAKE THE PERSONALITY TYPE QUIZ.

James - Chapter 1:19,26
Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.