Sunday, December 7, 2008

What Would You Do? She Choose Her Boyfriend Over Her Own Mother

Dear Audience,

I know that it is not something that we discuss everyday, whether or not your relationship with your family is more important than the relationship with your significant other. Well, I have a real-life scenario for all my readers. I want you to take the time and read this particular post because I strongly need your input via the comment section. I would like to know what you would do in this particular situation or whether you can relate.

My sister lived with us at one point. We were happy adults paying our portion of the rent to contribute to the mortgage of the family house that we had all agreed that we wanted. After a while, she was asked to pay $100 additional for four additional months only do the requirements of a faulty mortgage contract. It was only temporary. She was only paying $430 for a room, free cable, lights, telephone, Internet, water, heat, and basically, whatever comes with a house!

In no notice, whatsoever, she surprisingly decided to move out in April 2008, owing her rent and other bills that she did not pay. The summary is she ended up moving out and paying twice as much as when she stayed at home. Her original plan was to move into her apartment with the hopes that her boyfriend will eventually accompany her. He is 30 years old, occupation is an artist, and he lives with his mother. He had always informed her that he had no intention of moving in with her and he had stayed firm to that decision till this day. Therefore, she ended up moving with a friend at TCF Bank and her two children. She had to give up her beloved cat.

This December she called my mom and stated that she was moving into another apartment. She put a $630 security deposit on a 2-bedroom apartment that has no lights and she had never seen. She will be the only occupant in the apartment. She called our mother and tried to get our mother to put an electric bill in her name. Again, my sister has been gone since April 2008 and left the house owing a lot of past due bills, including rent!!! Of course, my mom said heck no! After my mom said no, it has been a constant text message battle between my mom and her. She left the house and we had to cover for her last minute decision financially. Why would my mom risk her credit for her?

I called myself trying to intervene. I told my sister that she was upsetting mom. The result was her telling me that I no longer exist to her, which is OK. Life does go on. However, she made some statements that she can never take back.

My best friend always tells me that you cannot choose your family but you can choose your friends. There is no such thing as a perfect family. However, I strongly believe that family your first social unit in your lifetime that you grow up with and find out who you really are. Family is where you learn the terms loyalty and endurance. Family is also where you discover your first words like, "mommy" or "daddy". In addition, family can hurt and disappoint you the most. Family can be jealous. However, I believe that family is family. They can't just relinquish their posts out of your lives, because they are family. Yet, sometimes there are times when you have to take a long vacation from the members that are negative and hurtful in your life, including your family.

I guess the bottom line is that I know that men have a huge influence on our lives. However, I did not think that they can come between family. I have this internal debate within myself. Is it her boyfriends fault or is it because of her?

This is just part 1 of my story. However, I want everyone to think about the value of your family. Now think about the value of that significant other. Would you risk one over the other? What is your opinion of the situation? What should I do?


A Sister Who Does Not Exist